How To Find Your Mistress Online – Online Dating Advice For Submissive Men

How To Find Your Mistress Online – Online Dating Advice For Submissive Men

Finding the dominant woman of your dreams is a little challenging without a dating app or website. The rapid growth of the BDSM community has made it possible for individuals to find the right match for them through designated apps like Fetlife and KinkD. And while these services can make your life easier, they rarely ever tell you how to successfully set up a profile that attracts the right partners.

I’ve personally come across many dating profiles that immediately turn me off, some of which just try too hard to explain the obvious in simple terms that could have been a little cleverer. Coming across a profile with a bio that says nothing but “Looking for a sexy woman to dominate me” makes me immediately look elsewhere. You’re on a Fetish app; you don’t need to state the obvious. So without further ado, let me cut to the chase about how you can set up an attractive online profile in a way that makes you stand out.


No one likes walls of texts in the bio section. You need to leave a little to talk about with your future mistress. The sexiest part of a healthy sub-dom relationship is building it up; getting to know your dom as you slowly establish a bond. If there’s anything I encounter more often than not, it’s men who tell rather than show in their bios. “I’m a funny man who knows how to make a woman happy.”

Let me be the judge of that.

If you want to come off as someone with a good sense of humor, make your bio funny. Impress me by writing something clever and catchy; and at the same time, something that actually says something about your personality rather than what you enjoy. Surely, these dating websites are basically a gateway for fun casual sex, for the most part. But that doesn’t mean that dominant women want to get straight to it. They’ll want to get to know you, see if you click, before they decide they’re going to annihilate you in bed. Or in their mini sex dungeon.


My least favorite part of dating profiles is when they use stock images of submissive men, or photos of handcuffed wrists. Stock photos aren’t going to get you anyone, so always upload photos of yourself.

While sexy photos can be fun, you don’t necessarily have to upload a picture of yourself in bondage to appeal to women. In fact, if it’s a casual photograph, which leaves plenty to the imagination, that usually makes it more intriguing and a little more mysterious. Finding someone who suits you should never be stressful and doesn’t require a professional photoshoot of you tied to a canopy bed. Be and look natural, and women will likely pick up on your submissive tendencies just fine.


You’re on a kink dating website, which is already sexualized enough. Even the most dominant women want to save themselves the hassle of running into creepy men who only see them as sex objects. That said, most of us wouldn’t care if you upload photos of yourself butt-naked as long as your bio isn’t overly vulgar, no matter what your intentions are with potential matches. Either upload casual photos with a kinky bio, or the other way around.

Don’t let your profile make you look like you’re a premium user on a porn website.

If you want to include something sexual that you enjoy doing, tuck it in somewhere in an otherwise decent paragraph. It’s random, it’s cute, and it makes you seem more empathetic and less of a sex addict.

Self-Centered Bios

This goes for both your bio and your interaction with any woman you meet on a dating app. Dominant women aren’t tools for your pleasure. An FLR is a mutual bond, where each party contributes to pleasuring the other. Don’t inundate your profile with things that you enjoy being done to you, because that will make you come off as a man who’s only seeking his own pleasure.

Doms will order you to eat them out, suck on their toes, and fuck them; and if you don’t appear like you’d enjoy that, then what’s the point? While I’ve initially advised you to avoid making it about yourself, I would also add that you keep it simple and subtle. Don’t give off too much information about what you like, and leave some space for you and your potential match to converse.


Porn mostly caters to men, so if your knowledge in sex is based on what you’ve seen in adult films, then it’s all based on male pleasure. Women in those films may seem to enjoy doing nothing but slapping cocks and teasing balls, but in real life, women like to get something in return as well. Look up forums that cater to women; see what dominant women enjoy and what kind of pleasure they like receiving. That’s what you should include in your bio and in your interaction with your matches. A woman who expresses interest in you will go out of her way to ask you what you enjoy, so you don’t need to make your kinks the center of the interaction.

To sum this up, let’s demonstrate what an unattractive profile looks like. Below is what would turn women away:

  • Stock photos/No Photo
  • Extremely long bio
  • Self-centered bio; for example, “I enjoy being whipped and having my balls tied.”
  • Overly suggestive bio; for example, “Here for hookups. Let’s meet up and fuck!”

On the other hand, here’s what dom women would likely look for:

  • Multiple photos of yourself
  • A clever bio that shows some personality other than just sex drive.
  • A bio that makes it about women; for example, “I’ll do whatever you tell me and accept punishment when I fail to do so.”
  • Some room for mystery in the bio

I suppose there is no right and wrong way to set up a profile, just an ineffective and more effective way to do it. By following these tips, you’re much more likely to make matches. I’d also advise you to target fetish apps and stay away from generic dating apps like Tinder or OK Cupid, because you’re less likely to meet doms there.

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